Love Biochemicals: Sex “Bi-Polar”

Posted on August 21, 2011 by Love Biochemicals

Source: relationships-sex

In the mood.  Not in the mood.  I love him.  Can’t stand the sight of him.  He’s adorable.  He’s annoying.  Hold me.  Stop touching me!

Choosing Sleep Over Sex, Headaches and Staying Up Late Watching T.V. to Avoid Rejecting Him… Again.

love biochemicals sex bi-polar

[by Tamara – The Science Behind Sex]

I teach many strategies for couples on how to ignite their passion or keep the bedroom flames burning bright, but what about when you just don’t have the desire for physical intimacy?

You find yourself attracted to other men but not your husband…

What if you’re just not in the mood or haven’t been for a long time?

Unless you’re having a medical issue or a deeper psychological issue in your relationship, the lack of arousal for sex or a decrease in your libido may be as simple as your biology..

It’s the Chemistry! [aka love biochemicals]

love biochemicals neuronsPowerful neurochemicals course through us creating all kinds of feelings, reactions and behaviors…including thoughts! [love biochemicals]

In fact, the female brain is a highly complex organ that is responsible for the functioning of desire, arousal and sexual interest.

Let’s just say, we women require “the mood” to be set in order for us to be thinking about sex!

It’s not rocket science, its simple biology and male arousal on the other hand is very simple, nothing complex.

Men do not need “the mood” because they live in the mood.

love biochemical signsBiologically it is far simpler for a man than it is for a woman to achieve an orgasm.  With Testosterone surging through them, a simple ejaculation is accompanied by an almost compulsive desire to seek out further sexual encounters.

Testosterone is a hormone that is present in both men and women…just in different amounts. [love biochemicals testosterone]

Testosterone is responsible for aggression, sexual fantasies, and the desire to masturbate, and seek out sex.

Testosterone wants its orgasm and it wants it now!

Men have ten to one hundred times the amount of Testosterone as women!

Yup, that pretty much sums up what’s going on!

Men and women are not created equally in the love bio-chemistry department.

love bucket touch love biochemical physical contact

Not in the mood?

Here are a few tips on jump-starting your juices if you’re in a relationship but not feeling the desire lately for connection between the sheets.

1.  Grab yourself a cocktail of Oxytocin to put you in the mood! [love biochemicals oxytocin]

love-bio-chemical oxytocinHow do you get some of this intoxicating molecule?  Cuddling, stroking, and touching releases this powerful neurochemical into your blood stream making you feel bonded, safe and ready for lovemaking.  Why do women need foreplay?  Foreplay stimulate this powerful molecule that makes us want to have our man, and want him now!

The smart man knows a woman’s chemistry and he slows down, takes his time and reaps the rewards of being such a good student of female biology!

2.  Foreplay begins 24 hours before the act, not 5 minutes before bedtime!

Science shows us that male orgasm is pretty simple and has everything to do with priming uh…. the pump.  Stimulate his pump and it’s blast-off.  Female orgasm is not so simple, our pump happens to be a much more complex organ… the brain!

Houston we have a problem!

contact ring of desire - physical touch foreplayThe female brain is quite different from the male brain and for a woman to achieve arousal she must be relaxed, free of worry and have warm feet.

Warm feet, warm…

Yes, cold feet detract from our orgasmic centers (and light up a part of our brain called the Amygdala and that pretty much shuts off the switch to sexual arousal), so men there really is a deeper wisdom in offering us ladies a foot rub!

Forget the back rub, going south means hitting our feet first!

Remember guys, for lighting up the fireworks in your bedroom, you would be very wise to decrease our tension for the 24 hours prior to when you would like us to fulfill your fantasy.

Guys, Wanna get lucky?

Unload and load the dishwasher for us and you’ll find that we are a lot more enthusiastic to assist you in unloading your load! [fill the love bucket]

fill-her-love-bucketTell us we look fabulous, flirt with us, and be helpful around the house and you pretty much are sealing the deal that you are going to get a treat between the sheets later for being our hero around the house and decreasing our stress and worry levels.

Also, make sure you lock the front door and tell us that you remembered to do so or we’ll remember to ask during you-know-what.  It’s how our brains work!

When we feel relaxed, unburdened and less worried, our sexual centers of our brain light up and we’re more receptive to sex.

3.   Don’t wait for the hormonal stars to align in order to light up your sexual horizon!

Our receptiveness as women as well as our sexual arousal is directly related to our hormonal cycles.  What that means is our sexual desire is in the chemistry!

Our hottest, juiciest, sexiest time of the month happens to be the second week of our cycle just prior and up to ovulation.

(If you’re pre-menepausal or have hit menopause, the chemistry changes and that’s a whole different blog post, as it would depend on if you are taking Estrogen supplementation or not.)

Honestly our desire ebbs and flows with our menstrual cycle.  Even our attraction to men and the type of man can vary depending on our cycle!

It may feel at times that our desire and arousal states create an experience of Sex Bi-Polar!

love bio chemicals cycleOn again….Testosterone and Estrogen are peaking at that second week into our cycle creating the urge to merge.  Estrogen doesn’t increase sex drive but it does make us feel lovely and receptive to his advances and so we say “yes” when he offers the back rub that we know is not really a back rub but an invitation to get naked. [love biochemicals estrogen]

Off again….Progesterone hits the scene! [love biochemicals progesterone]

Once Progesterone kicks in a week or so later, that back rub feels annoying and his breath is just repulsive and we really can’t understand why he is terribly unattractive right now, but sex is definitely not in the cards tonight.

Bottom-line, our sex drive as women can shift from week to week and for some women day to day depending on the love biochemicals at play.

A sexual roller coaster ride?

love biochemicals roller coasterIf we can understand and appreciate the power of hormones and neurochemicals on our libido and arousal states we can take control of our intimate relationship and create the experience we want rather than passively wait for our body to deliver it. [love biochemicals male brain female brain]

“I always hate my husband in January!”

A client of mine casually declared in her perfect English accent, “Tamara, I always hate my husband in January!  Every year it’s the same and then it passes, by February he’s fabulous again.”

This is a great point I want to underscore here.  When you are having less than that loving feeling it is important to not jump to conclusions and read into the emotions and feelings too deeply.

love bio chemicals 2Knowledge is power, so remember that irritability with our partner and our lack of sexual desire is not necessarily a deeper psychological issue, but rather it may simply be a temporary hormonal, neurochemical state that will pass. [love biochemicals brain]

(Professional disclaimer:  If you experience a lack of sexual desire or attraction for your partner and it is lasting longer than a few months, causing you or your partner psychological discomfort or if you are concerned about deeper issues in your relationship, consult a professional therapist or doctor about your specific issues.)

Even when it’s hard to feel like intimately connecting with your man and it seems like the last thing you want to do, hold him, hug him, be close to him, stroke his skin and have him do the same for you.  Before long you will begin to feel arousal and desire creep in (stimulating your chemical release of Oxytocin the bonding agent).

Even if you didn’t feel like making love at first…

Even if you did not feel like making love at first, as soon as you start making love you will find that you do end up having a fantastic time!

Then you wonder why on earth you don’t have sex more often!

This phenomenon is a lot like coming home from work on a Friday evening completely exhausted.

love bio chemicals coupleYou forgot you committed to going to a party and it’s the last thing you feel like doing, in fact, you think about calling and canceling. You think about not hurting anyone’s feelings by lying about having the flu or something (a headache), but instead you pull it together and decide to drag yourself to the party.  Once you step in the door, your mood magically begins to lift, you begin to enjoy yourself and by the time you leave you are ecstatic about having enjoyed such a gorgeous evening and you can’t imagine having missed it to stay home!

Sexual desire is the same way!

Don’t wait for desire to appear before you make love to your sweetheart!

Instead, go ahead and open the door to your private party and know that once you get going, you’re desire will kick in and you are going to enjoy yourself fully and be glad you CAME!  (wink!)

August 19, 2011 Contact: Tamara  @ relationships-sex All Rights Reserved 

Keywords:  love bio-chemicals include:
love biochemical: testosterone,
love biochemical: estrogen,
love biochemical: dopamine,
love biochemical: progesterone,
love biochemical: norepinephrine,
love biochemical: serotonin,
love biochemical: oxytocin,
love biochemical: sexual desire, and
love biochemical: menstrual cycle

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Love Biochemicals: DNA, Dopamine, and Infidelity

Posted on December 9, 2010 by Love Biochemicals

Keywords: love biochemicals, dna, dopamine, sex, infidelity, geotype, drd4

Whether your roommate is Samantha Sleeps-Around or Paul the Prude, cut him or her some slack: People’s predilections for promiscuity lie partially in their DNA, according to a new study.

A particular version of a dopamine receptor gene called DRD4 is linked to people’s tendency toward both infidelity and uncommitted one-night stands, the researchers reported Nov. 30 in the online open-access journal PloS One.

The same gene has already been linked to alcoholism and gambling addiction, as well as less destructive thrills like a love of horror films. One study linked the gene to an openness to new social situations, which in turn correlated with political liberalism.

In the new study, researchers gathered a detailed history of sexual behavior and relationships from 181 young adults. They also collected DNA samples from the volunteers’ cheeks and analyzed the samples for the presence of the thrill-seeking version of DRD4.

“What we found was that individuals with a certain variant of the DRD4 gene were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity,” study researcher Justin Garcia, a postdoctoral fellow at Binghamton University, State University of New York, said in a statement.

“The motivation seems to stem from a system of pleasure and reward, which is where the release of dopamine comes in,” Garcia said. “In cases of uncommitted sex, the risks are high, the rewards substantial and the motivation variable — all elements that ensure a dopamine ‘rush.’”

People with the thrill-seeking gene variant were about twice as likely to report a history of one-night stands as those without the gene variant. Half of those with a love of risk imprinted in their DNA reported committing infidelity in the past, compared with 22 percent of those without the variant.

“The study doesn’t let transgressors off the hook,” said Garcia. “These relationships are associative, which means that not everyone with this genotype will have one-night stands or commit infidelity. Indeed, many people without this genotype still have one-night stands and commit infidelity. The study merely suggests that a much higher proportion of those with this genetic type are likely to engage in these behaviors.”

Source: Like to Sleep Around? Blame Your Genes  By Stephanie Pappas, LiveScience Senior Writer http://www.livescience.com/culture/gene-linked-to-promiscuity-infidelity-101201.html

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Testosterone Basics

Posted on December 1, 2010 by Love Biochemicals

Testosterone is the power hormone that is the love biochemical in men that make men, well, men.  In men, testosterone is produced and secreted mainly by the testicles.  Women also have testosterone.

The goal of testosterone replacement therapy is to replace the lowered testosterone at physiologic doses.  At this proper dosing, the body’s reaction to testosterone is a restored youthful response in all body tissues.  What we are trying to do is replicate the previous testosterone levels by restoring them throughout the body.  Too much, and the body responds by increasing estrogen and the protein, sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG).  Too little, and you will still suffer from low testosterone symptoms.

It should be noted that testosterone therapy will not prolong life expectancy.  It will, however, increase the quality of life.  Testosterone deficiency is the most common hormonal disorder in males.  Low testosterone is related to several preventable diseases and still remains significantly under-diagnosed.  Restoring testosterone levels quickly corrects most symptoms of deficiency as levels fall approximately 1-2% per year beginning around age 35.

When levels are restored, men report improvement in energy, well-being, psychosocial drive, initiative, assertiveness, increased libido, more frequent sexual encounters, increased muscular strength and endurance.

In men, testosterone is produced and secreted mainly by the testicles.  Starting with cholesterol, testosterone is synthesized within the 500 million Leydig cells inside the testis.  These specialized cells make up about 5% of the testis volume.  A small amount of testosterone is made from DHEA in specialized areas of the body.  This conversion accounts for a very small amount of your total testosterone.

Interestingly, giving a man DHEA at 50mg a day, will not increase his testosterone to acceptable replacement levels, but it will increase his estrogen level.  However, a woman taking this dose, will see her testosterone increase.

The pituitary secretes luteinizing hormone (LH) in short bursts to signal the production and release of testosterone.  The bursts occur every 60-90 minutes.  Releasing LH in this manner maintains the Leydig cell’s sensitivity to LH and maintains the pattern of secretion.  Constant stimulation and the Leydig cells will become resistant to the signal.

Men produce between 3mg and 10mg of testosterone per day with 4% being converted to dihydrotesterone (DHT) and about 0.2% being converted to estradiol, an estrogen.

DHT is 3 to 10 times as androgenic (male characteristics) as testosterone.  The enzyme 5-alpha-reductase is responsible for this conversion of testosterone to DHT.  In the prostate, 95% of testosterone is converted to DHT by 5-alpha-reductase.  Specific medications can block this enzyme in the prostate.  DHT, along with estrogen, is the contributing factor to an enlarged prostate.  Testosterone has a protective benefit to the prostate.

A small percentage, just 0.2%, of testosterone is converted to estradiol by the enzyme aromatase.  This may seem insignificant but estradiol is 100 times more potent at the cell receptor site than testosterone.  This means that a male needs 100 times more testosterone than estradiol just to have an equal affinity for the receptor.  Approximately 80% of estradiol in males is produced via this conversion from testosterone.

The major determining factor in the removal of testosterone from the body are SHBG levels, the individual’s circadian rhythm, amount of blood flow to the liver, genetics, and environmental factors.  The clearance of testosterone from the body is reduced with lower SHBG levels and reduced blood flow to the liver.

Beginning around age 35, there is a gradual decrease in testosterone and increases in estrogen and SHBG.  The decrease is accelerated and begins earlier with poor health or chronic illness.

Testosterone is transported by binding to SHBG.  SHBG is made and secreted by the liver.  SHBG binds 70% to 99% of the testosterone in a man’s body.  The remaining 1% to 30% is either bound to other proteins or free to move into tissues resulting in an effect on the cell.  The higher the SHBG concentration, the lower the amount of free testosterone available to the body.  SHBG concentration is affected by testosterone levels, estrogen levels, liver disease, obesity, and genetics.  Once bound to these proteins, the testosterone is rendered “inactive” and is taken to the liver for removal from the body.

Testosterone peaks for men in the early morning and slowly declines throughout the day with a low in mid-afternoon only to rise slightly again in the evening.

Many physicians use blood to measure testosterone levels.  This is accurate for testing the total testosterone level but inaccurate for testing the free and active form.  Additional blood tests are rarely performed to determine SHBG and the “free testosterone” measurement is given as an estimate.  This estimate can vary by several fold and is generally considered useless in a clinical setting.  Without additional blood testing, the only true and accurate way to measure free and active hormone levels is through saliva.

Certain diseases and medications will increase the SHBG levels.  A hyperthyroid (fast thyroid) condition will increase the body’s SHBG by stimulating release from the liver.  This will cause low testosterone symptoms while total testosterone levels remain unchanged.

Clinically, testosterone is used to treat anemia, osteoporosis, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, angioedemia, immune system disorders, lung deficiencies, and muscular diseases.  Chronic heart failure is associated with low testosterone levels.  These conditions are usually treated with newer, more expensive therapies that show only a slight benefit over the much less expensive testosterone.  There are also no side effects to testosterone therapy with correct dosing.  At conventional doses for replacement therapy, there is no need to monitor the liver, kidneys, or electrolytes.

When taken orally, testosterone is quickly broken down by the liver into inactive metabolites.  Because of this, testosterone is best given by intramuscular injection, transdermal cream, or sublingually.

Testosterone production can be completely shut down in men using synthetic progestins.

Abuse of testosterone and it’s anabolic/androgenic derivatives by athletes has produced a stigma surrounding the therapy.  These hormones allow the body to produce larger and stronger muscles in a shorter period of time.  They also significantly decrease recovery time between strenuous activity.  Taking high levels of testosterone also temporarily shuts down sperm production and is associated with male infertility while on supra-physiologic doses.

Limited studies show that short-term, high dosing of testosterone has little medical danger, is not physically addictive, and most abusers eventually stop.  After long-tern use, recovery of normal bodily testosterone production may take up to two years.

Testosterone replacement therapy, when done properly, is an inexpensive treatment to significantly improve the quality of life for males.  The therapy has been used successfully for decades but has recently been associated with abuse among athletes and recreational users.  Because of this, many doctors are reluctant to educate themselves of the risks, benefits, and protocols of testosterone therapy.

Also, since the hormones cannot be patented, pharmaceutical manufacturers cannot make a profit and therefore will not advertise this from of therapy.  The prescription form of testosterone that my patients use costs them about $5.00 a week.

Source Dr West Conner Testosterone Basics

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Love Biochemicals: Love and Other Drugs movie

Posted on November 22, 2010 by Love Biochemicals

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Love Biochemicals: Love and Other Drugs movie

Keywords:  Love and Other Drugs (movie), love biochemicals, love chemicals: testosterone, oxytocin, Viagra, cyclic guanosine monophosphate (cGMP) Sildenafil, vasodilation, tadalafil , Cialis, vardenafil, Levitra, erectile dysfunction, love drug, love the ultimate drug, ultimate drug: love.

Love and Other Drugs movie based on the novel “Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman” by Jamie Reidy

Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway act in this movie, Love and Other Drugs.  When Jamie (Gyllenhaal), a charming pharmaceutical drug rep meets Maggie (Hathaway), a seductive free-spirit, the pair find themselves affected by the love biochemicals – the love drug takes over!

 

Viagra, the little blue pill, became available in 1998. Sildenafil citrate, sold as Viagra, Revatio and under various other trade names, is a drug used to treat erectile dysfunction and pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH). It was developed and is being marketed by the pharmaceutical company Pfizer. It acts by inhibiting cGMP-specific phosphodiesterase type 5, an enzyme that regulates blood flow in the penis. Sildenafil has been the prime treatment for erectile dysfunction; its primary competitors on the market are tadalafil (Cialis) and vardenafil (Levitra). per Wikipedia, continues:

The “Viagra” name has become so well known that many fake aphrodisiacs now call themselves “herbal viagra” or are presented as blue tablets imitating the shape and colour of Pfizer’s product. Viagra is also informally known as “Vitamin V”, “the Blue Pill”, as well as various other nicknames.

viagra-blue-pill  viagra-Sildenafil-citrate

 

Sildenafil (compound UK-92,480) was synthesized by a group of pharmaceutical chemists working at Pfizer’s Sandwich, Kent research facility in England. It was initially studied for use in hypertension (high blood pressure) and angina pectoris (a symptom of ischaemic heart disease).

The mechanism of action of sildenafil involves the protection of cyclic guanosine monophosphate (cGMP) from degradation by cGMP-specific phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) in the corpus cavernosum. Nitric oxide (NO) in the corpus cavernosum of the penis binds to guanylate cyclase receptors, which results in increased levels of cGMP, leading to smooth muscle relaxation (vasodilation) of the intimal cushions of the helicine arteries. This smooth muscle relaxation leads to vasodilation and increased inflow of blood into the spongy tissue of the penis, causing an erection. Robert F. Furchgott won the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine in 1998 for his discovery and analysis of endothelium-derived relaxing factor or “EDRF”, later identified with NO itself or a closely-related compound.

Sildenafil is metabolised by liver enzymes and excreted by both the liver and kidneys. If taken with a high-fat meal, absorption is reduced; the time taken to reach the maximum plasma concentration increases by around one hour, and the maximum concentration itself is decreased by nearly one-third.

Sexual dysfunction

The primary indication of sildenafil is treatment of erectile dysfunction (inability to sustain a satisfactory erection to complete intercourse). Its use is now standard treatment for erectile dysfunction in all settings, including diabetes.

People on antidepressants may experience sexual dysfunction, either as a result of their illness or as a result of their treatment. A 2003 study showed that sildenafil improved sexual function in men in this situation. Following up to earlier reports from 1999, the same researchers found that sildenafil was able to improve sexual function in female patients on antidepressants as well.

As well as erectile dysfunction, sildenafil citrate is also effective in the rare disease pulmonary arterial hypertension, Altitude sickness, and Use in sports

Recreational use

Sildenafil’s popularity with young adults has increased over the years. Sildenafil’s trade name “Viagra” is widely recognized in popular culture, and the drug’s association with treating erectile dysfunction has led to its recreational use. The reasons behind such use include the belief that the drug increases libido, improves sexual performance, or permanently increases penis size. Studies on the effects of viagra when used recreationally are limited, but suggest that it has little effect when used by those not suffering from erectile dysfunction. In one study, a 25 mg dose was shown to cause no significant change in erectile quality, but did reduce the post-ejaculatory refractory time. This study also noted a significant placebo effect in the control group.

comingsoon-love-drugs

Back to the Movie: Plot Summary
Love and Other Drugs

from Internet Movie Data Base imbd.com:

Maggie (Hathaway) is an alluring free spirit who won’t let anyone – or anything – tie her down. But she meets her match in Jamie (Gyllenhaal), whose relentless and nearly infallible charm serve him well with the ladies and in the cutthroat world of pharmaceutical sales. Maggie and Jamie’s evolving relationship takes them both by surprise, as they find themselves under the influence of the ultimate drug: love.

Love and Other Drugs Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)
Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, pervasive language, and some drug material.

The movie studio says it right above: Characters Maggie and Jamie’s evolving relationship with sexual relations kicks in the love biochemicals like oxytocin, testosterone that takes them both by surprise (mentally, not physiologically), as they find themselves under the influence of the ultimate drug: love. 

When Love Biochemicals take over,  love chemicals surge through the brain and body, influencing thoughts, emotions, and actions.  Powerful stuff!

Love is the ultimate drug. 

loveandotherdrugs-movie

 

Additional Note:  Do your research, see below.

Herbal Viagra: There’s an alternative to viagra that is reported to work far better at a greatly reduced price: medicinal herbs. These herbs — like yohimbe, horny goat weed and rainforest herbs like catuaba and muira puama — produce strong aphrodisiac effects.  Again,, do your research.

Let’s face it: Viagra is popular because it’s backed by a hundred million dollars in advertising, promotion and hype and because of this, strip your wallet bare. Viagra is not the only way to get it on, nor is it the best way. In fact, most men who take Viagra, Cialis, Levitra actually need something else: better nutrition, strength training and cardiovascular exercise. Nothing boosts the hormones and testosterone like a good round of lifting weights.

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Love Junkies

Posted on November 16, 2010 by Love Biochemicals

10 signs that you are a love junkie

This Love Biochemical article is for the females of the species, by Debra Berndt

Keywords:  love chemicals include: testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, nerve growth factor, and vasopressin (see also Love Biochemicals: http://lovebiochemicals.com/love-biochemicals/love-biochemicals-how-to-understand-love-as-a-chemical-reaction/

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From the sweet excitement of the fresh kiss of someone new to the emotional upheaval in the aftermath when the romance fizzles, the wave of love attraction can often be like a roller-coaster ride. Even during the depths of sorrow, there seems to be a certain pleasure in feeling something even if you are uncomfortable rather that the drab, boring dry spell of a dateless existence. The experience many times leads you searching for another fix and you pull yourself up and begin to feel hope again. You tell yourself that the next relationship will be the one that lasts.

Debra Berndt, the author of this article, told herself that for years. She did not know that the love biochemicals took over her mind and body.

Any fresh prospect that showed up in my life became my new hope for leaving the singles pool. Unfortunately, too soon without warning, he would always leave me disappointed. The rejections didn’t seem to stop me because as a love junkie, I needed my next fix. The drive for the romantic high was too great to think sensibly about what I really wanted in a mate or what I truly deserved. I was driven by emotions which blindly drew me to the next Mr. Temporary until I stopped to realize that there was a sick pattern going on here.

Once I rid myself of being a relationship wannabe and let go of all those guys who were just filling up space in my life, I was able to open up to authentic love and attract my ideal partner. Just like any addict, though, the first step in my love recovery was to admit that I had a love problem.

If this sounds familiar to you, check out these top signs that you are a love junkie…

1.       You fall really fast for almost everyone you feel “chemistry” and physical attraction.

2.       You expect to “seal the deal” and become anxious to expedite the relationship to a commitment level within the first month.

3.        You exaggerate the reality of the relationship, making a one-night stand your new overnight boyfriend before breakfast.

4.       You tell all your friends about your new man within 24 hours of your first date. When you meet “the one” you typically know right away, but if you have done this more than three times in six months, then it is a warning sign.

5.       You read bridal magazines and plan your wedding before you start dating someone serious.

6.       You introduce him to your children after just a few dates and suggest that you should meet his family too.

7.       You love listening to heartbreak songs on the radio after your latest breakup. You enjoy the crying and misery because you love being in love, even after it’s over.

8.       You pick your wedding song before you meet Mr. Right.

9.       You always like to have a romantic interest to talk about when having drinks or dinner with your girlfriends.

10.   You jump from relationship to relationship like you were on a trapeze. You need another love interest to come into your life before you let go of the last one so you always have someone to think about.

If you are a love junkie, there is hope. You can break your addiction and come clean for real love instead of the romantic delusions you have been imbibing. Step back and look at your dating patterns. Are the guys you fell for really someone you see yourself with for a lifetime or did you just get caught up in the moment (and the sex)? Write a list of what you really want in a mate (that’s your LOVE BUCKET LIST), both traits that are negotiable and non-negotiable. Make a commitment to yourself to take it slow before you diving in and bring your head into the matters of your heart. Trust that your lonely times are temporary and that great things are worth the wait.

Debra held a “Love Detox: 5 steps to get over your breakup” which deals with mindset. Find out more on AttractRealLove.com

Being a love junkie has all the same affects as a drug junkie with similar love biochemicals surging through the body that create the addiction to love. When you understand what is happening physiologically as well as emotionally, you can better use your mindset to detox from a bad love relationship experience.

Now, a review of why a romantic break up can be so terribly painful and can even haunt a person for decades after the break-up.

Again, recognize the depressive affect from the ‘withdrawal’ of the production of the love biochemicals that make us just “feel great” when we are in love.

Dopamine while rather short lived, are produced at some level especially during any physical sex between romantic partners. So, the withdrawal of the Dopamine following a ‘break-up’ follows a pattern similar to the withdrawal symptoms of any other narcotic such as heroin or morphine (though less physiologically severe) – thus the term “love junkie.”

The closer to the Attachment Phase of Love (dominated by Vasopressin) that the one partner is experiencing, and this will always be the partner in the relationship that is abandoned by the other, the greater the withdrawal symptoms (pain) will be for them. Just gotta get your love fix.

This is common sense not measurable scientific basis for the love biochemistry because the “deeper in love” a person is with another then the more painful is the abandonment and betrayal of that other person felt.

As well as dopamine withdrawal, the Serotonin withdrawal is perhaps even more painfully felt. Consider how one ‘just feels good’ being around the loved one at the height of the relationship after “falling in love” regardless of what they are doing together. The very presence of our lover elicits the Serotonin release in our bodies.

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Love Biochemicals: Don’t be a fool for his “love tool”!

Posted on October 22, 2010 by Love Biochemicals

LADIES: Don’t be a fool for his “love tool”!

Keywords:  love chemicals include: testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, nerve growth factor, and vasopressin (see also Love Biochemicals: http://lovebiochemicals.com/love-biochemicals/love-biochemicals-his-and-her-love-biochemicals/

Let’s face it…sex can make a person do crazy things. I believe it’s been documented that people have lost their minds because of sex. Is there a difference between “just sex” and “good sex?” (The more love biochemicals the crazier)

love-biochemicals-empiricalI’m going to go out on a limb here and say that most people have experienced cloudy judgment, become ‘little’ irrational, perhaps conceded more than they’d like or maybe even been slightly dramatic because of sex (being so good – Love Biochemicals run the show). It’s “that thing” most people simply can’t quite get a grip on.

Guys, however, have a pretty good grip on how to make sex work to their advantage in the dating game (even when women think they’re winning the game). Men know the proverbial “tool” is the key to unlock inhibitions, ignore intuition, diminish strong fears and manipulate women to forfeiting logic and absorbing pure lust (Love Biochemicals take over) and minutes of passion with the subconscious notion of love and commitment.

C’mon ladies!!!

Guys realize they don’t have to be the most handsome, wealthy, stable, reliable considerate man- or even the biggest stud in the herd- to get you wrapped around his…pinkie. All he needs is to know is how to push your love, sex, and sensitive touch buttons and you won’t be able to undress fast enough. (Love Biochemicals take over again)

Here’s a little tip for you special delivery from me:

Keep this in mind when dating and you think you want to ride the sex train with him. Most men are extremely capable and quite adept at completely separating what feels good to them physically from their emotions. Men are simply made up this way… the “compartmentalization way.”

Most women are not designed to be this way. Many have tried and usually just as many have failed. Great sex doesn’t equal commitment. If the two of you are having great sex, then trust me, he doesn’t want to lose this highly enjoyable synergistic experience with you either. But if he begins to feel like there are strings attached or conditions, he’s going to feel the need to run for his life. I know it’s sad but true and only if he’s not into you that way.

clip_image001SOLUTION- There’s much more to a legit relationship than sex. You already know this. So step away from the apparent mind-bending sex (Love Biochemicals pulsing all over), get your feet back on the ground and grab a hold of yourself! It’s just sex!

Protect yourself by understanding this; if he’s not ready to show some truly clear signs of beginning to commit after 2 or 3 months of dating, don’t set yourself up for the pain and anguish by expecting anything more than what you’re already getting- which as long as you’re still enjoying it, is perfectly fine- as long as you’re being 100% honest with yourself.

Shelby Hill
Relationship Specialist

You can hear Shelby in the 5 Love Dynamics Program http://5LoveDynamics.com as a Guest Expert
(all Love Biochemical comments added)

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Love Biochemicals: Procreation and Beyond

Posted on October 7, 2010 by Love Biochemicals
Keywords:  love chemicals include: testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, nerve growth factor, and vasopressin (see also Love Biochemicals: http://lovebiochemicals.com/love-biochemicals/love-biochemicals-his-and-her-love-biochemicals/

The more scientists look, the more they’re able to tease romance apart into its individual strands–the visual, auditory, olfactory, tactile, neuro-chemical processes that make it possible. None of those things may be necessary for simple procreation, but all of them appear essential for something larger.

Smell, or pheromones, are a factor in choosing a mate.

Wikipedia, defines pheromone (from Greek  phero “to bear” + hormone from Greek  – “impetus”) is a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species. Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting outside the body of the secreting individual to impact the behavior of the receiving individual. There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones, sex pheromones, and many others that affect behavior or physiology.  Pheromones have evolved in all animal phyla, to signal sex and dominance status, and are responsible for stereotypical social and sexual behavior among members of the same species. In mammals, these chemical signals are believed to be detected primarily by the vomeronasal organ (VNO), a chemosensory organ located at the base of the nasal septum.

Less surprising than the importance of the way a partner smells is the way that partner looks and sounds.  Humans are have eyes for an attractive face and a sexy shape.  Advertisers know this.

Brain scans of people in love in 2000 revealed that the sensation of romance is processed in three areas of the brain. The first is the ventral tegmental, a clump of tissue in the brain’s lower regions, which is the body’s central refinery for dopamine. Dopamine does a lot of jobs, but the thing we notice most is that it regulates reward. When you win a hand of poker, it’s a dopamine jolt that’s responsible for the thrill that follows.

The ventral tegmental areas are working particularly hard producing the love biochemical dopamine and sending it to higher regions that creates craving, motivation, goal-oriented behavior–and ecstasy.

Dopamine is a major love biochemical. It’s a steady flow of dopamine that makes the anticipation such a pleasure. Thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies thrive on the dopamine anticipation.

Even with its intoxicating supply of dopamine, something has to turn the exhilaration of a new partner into what can approach an obsession, and that something is the brain’s nucleus accumbens. Thrill signals that start in the lower brain are processed in the nucleus accumbens via not just dopamine but also serotonin and, importantly, oxytocin. If ever there was a substance designed to bind, it’s oxytocin. The “bonding hormone”, oxytocin, floods a woman who’s having an orgasm (see Female Orgasm Explained) as well, oxytocin surges through new mothers to connect so ferociously to their babies. Love biochemicals for women are definitely estrogen and oxytocin. It is also oxytocin that makes a guy fall over and fall asleep after sex… ladies, he’s not doing it on purpose. He’s got sex sleep narcolepsy.

The last major stops for love biochemicals to signal in the brain are the caudate nuclei, a pair of structures on either side of the head, each about the size of a shrimp. It’s here that patterns and mundane habits, such as knowing how to type on a keyboard and how to drive a car, are stored. Motor skills like those can be hard to lose, thanks to the caudate nuclei’s indelible memory. Apply the same permanence to love, and it’s no wonder that early passion and romance can gel so quickly into enduring commitment.

The idea that even one primal part of the brain is involved in processing love would be enough to make the feeling powerful. The fact that three are at work makes that powerful feeling of love all-consuming. Those three parts of the brain, again, are ventral tegmantal, nucleus accumbens, and caudate nuclei.

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Infatuation brain chemistry of infatuation: Love Biochemicals in Charge?

Posted on September 16, 2010 by Love Biochemicals

Scientists say that the brain chemistry of infatuation is akin to mental illness—which gives new meaning to “madly in love.”

compelling excerpt

In the Western world we have for centuries concocted poems and stories and plays about the cycles of love, the way it morphs and changes over time, the way passion grabs us by our flung-back throats and then leaves us for something saner. If Dracula—the frail woman, the sensuality of submission—reflects how we understand the passion of early romance, the Flintstones reflects our experiences of long-term love: All is gravel and somewhat silly, the song so familiar you can’t stop singing it, and when you do, the emptiness is almost unbearable.

We have relied on stories to explain the complexities of love, tales of jealous gods and arrows. Now, however, these stories—so much a part of every civilization—may be changing as science steps in to explain what we have always felt to be myth, to be magic. For the first time, new research has begun to illuminate where love lies in the brain, the particulars of its chemical components.
Anthropologist Helen Fisher may be the closest we’ve ever come to having a doyenne of desire. At 60 she exudes a sexy confidence, with corn-colored hair, soft as floss, and a willowy build. A professor at Rutgers University, she lives in New York City, her book-lined apartment near Central Park, with its green trees fluffed out in the summer season, its paths crowded with couples holding hands.

Fisher has devoted much of her career to studying the biochemical pathways of love in all its manifestations: lust, romance, attachment, the way they wax and wane. One leg casually crossed over the other, ice clinking in her glass, she speaks with appealing frankness, discussing the ups and downs of love the way most people talk about real estate. “A woman unconsciously uses orgasms as a way of deciding whether or not a man is good for her. If he’s impatient and rough, and she doesn’t have the orgasm, she may instinctively feel he’s less likely to be a good husband and father. Scientists think the fickle female orgasm may have evolved to help women distinguish Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong.”

One of Fisher’s central pursuits in the past decade has been looking at love, quite literally, with the aid of an MRI machine. Fisher and her colleagues Arthur Aron and Lucy Brown recruited subjects who had been “madly in love” for an average of seven months. Once inside the MRI machine, subjects were shown two photographs, one neutral, the other of their loved one.

What Fisher saw fascinated her. When each subject looked at his or her loved one, the parts of the brain linked to reward and pleasure—the ventral tegmental area and the caudate nucleus—lit up. What excited Fisher most was not so much finding a location, an address, for love as tracing its specific chemical pathways. Love lights up the caudate nucleus because it is home to a dense spread of receptors for a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which Fisher came to think of as part of our own endogenous love potion. In the right proportions, dopamine creates intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention, and motivation to win rewards. It is why, when you are newly in love, you can stay up all night, watch the sun rise, run a race, ski fast down a slope ordinarily too steep for your skill. Love makes you bold, makes you bright, makes you run real risks, which you sometimes survive, and sometimes you don’t.

Get the whole story in the pages of National Geographic magazine.
http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0602/feature2/

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Love Chemicals, Love Chemistry, Love Biochemicals

Posted on September 12, 2010 by Love Biochemicals

Keywords:  love chemicals include: testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, nerve growth factor, and vasopressin (see also Love Biochemicals: http://lovebiochemicals.com/love-biochemicals/love-biochemicals-his-and-her-love-biochemicals/

Studies in neuroscience have involved chemicals that are present in the brain and might be involved when people experience love. These chemicals include: nerve growth factor,[5] testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin.[6] Adequate brain levels of testosterone seem important for both human male and female sexual behavior.[7] Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are more commonly found during the attraction phase of a relationship.[citation needed] Oxytocin and vasopressin seemed to be more closely linked to long term bonding and relationships characterized by strong attachments.

The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love — sexual attraction and attachment.[8] Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to his or her mother or father– or both.

The chemicals triggered that are responsible for passionate love and long-term attachment love seem to be more particular to the activities in which both persons participate rather than to the nature of the specific people involved.[8]

Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love[citation needed], also adds lust to the experience of love. Lust exposes people to others, and is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months.

Serotonin
Chemically, the serotonin effects of being in love have a similar chemical appearance to obsessive-compulsive disorder; which could explain why some people in love cannot think of anyone else.[9] For this reason some[who?] assert that taking SSRIs and other antidepressants, which treat OCD, impede one’s ability to fall in love. In one particular case anthropologist Helen Fisher noted:

I know of one couple on the edge of divorce. The wife was on an antidepressant. Then she went off it, started having orgasms once more, felt the renewal of sexual attraction for her husband, and they’re now in love all over again.[10]

Oxytocin

Simplified overview of the chemical basis of love.

Oxytocin

The long-term attachment felt after the initial “in love” passionate phase of the relationship ends is related to oxytocin, a chemical released after orgasm.[11] Moreover, novelty triggers attraction. Even exercising for several minutes can make one more attracted to other people on account of increased heart rate and other physiological responses.[citation needed]

Nerve growth factor
In 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year. Specifically, four neurotrophin levels (NGF, BDNF, NT-3, and NT-4) of 58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in two control groups who were either single or already engaged in a long-term relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.[12]

Role of the limbic system
In A General Theory of Love, three professors of psychiatry from UCSF provide an overview of the scientific theories and findings relating to the role of the limbic system in love, attachment and social bonding. They advance the hypothesis that our nervous systems are not self-contained, but rather demonstrably attuned to those around us and those with whom we are most close. This empathy, which they call limbic resonance, is a capacity which we share, along with the anatomical characteristics of the limbic areas of the brain, with all other mammals.[13] Their work builds on previous studies of the importance of physical contact and affection in social and cognitive development, such as the experiments conducted by Harry Harlow on rhesus monkeys, which first established the biological consequences of isolation.

Source: Chemical basis for love http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemical_basis_for_love

Keywords:  love biochemicals include:
love biochemical: testosterone,
love biochemical: estrogen,
love biochemical: dopamine,
love biochemical: norepinephrine,
love biochemical: serotonin,
love biochemical: oxytocin,
love biochemical: nerve growth factor, and
love biochemical: vasopressin

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Love Biochemicals: How to Understand Love As a Chemical Reaction

Posted on September 10, 2010 by Love Biochemicals

How to Understand Love As a Chemical Reaction

You have heard of chemistry between people or the chemistry of a sports team. Well, attraction and attachment, as much as we hate to admit it, doesn’t come from the heart. It comes from subconscious feelings. Love is about how the other person makes you feel… That isn’t magic, and there isn’t just that “one person out there for you”. The fact of the matter is that love involves nonverbal reactions–synaptic (chemical) connections within our brains–despite how unromantic that sounds.

· 1

Understand the involuntary responses and sub-consciousness causes passionate “attraction, sometimes called love,” and may be related to the immune system. As humans, we benefit by having a diverse gene pool. If this weren’t true, one disease could wipe us all out. Therefore, animals and insects developed a way to tell each other apart by the use of pheromones and the reactions in the immune systems. These are scents that may influence us to decide subconsciously if we are sexually interested in a person. While a guy may smell great to you, he might disgust your best friend. So, if you enjoy a man’s smell, there’s a chance that your immune systems operate slightly differently from hers, and you may even have different blood types and different levels of certain hormones.

· 2

See the one–Your eye and subconscious visual responses influence “love” concerning “physical attributes.” Believe it or not, this is possibly the clincher on whether or not we decide that this person is suitable to us. Now, to comprehend this, we have to know that in essence humans are not really that different from the less cerebral animals subconsciously. From the girl’s perspective–if a guy has big muscles, you may consciously think he’s good looking. What you don’t realize is that you’re actually more deeply interested in how well he might protect you and your children. Surprising? A tall man can exert power over other males, which is a plus as well. Eye color also makes a difference. Blue eyes mean that his iris is a “clean slate” (recessive trait), and a recessive trait means that whatever the trait concerns, the other dominant trait will pass more readily to a child than the recessive one. If you want the possibility of blue eyes then both family gene pools have to include that trait.

· 3

Think and remember.–Mental reactions and traits may be a more subconsciously important factors for the female choosing her mate than for the male. After all, if a man looks good but grunts whenever you ask him to do something for you, you may remember that and realize that he isn’t that good for you. Another woman may react totally differently to that strong silent type.

· 4

Look good.–From the guy’s perspective it is more about appearance. If a girl has larger breasts, it may mean that she can nurse children more effectively, and therefore, could make a better mate. Larger buttocks and hips could make childbirth easier and give a higher success rate. Women may also dress their best when they are at peak levels of fertility.

· 5

React to emotional pressure. This is related to excitement, and even stress also has a lot to do with subconscious functions of the brain concerning “love”. There is good stress (like attraction) and bad stress (called distress). When you seem to have found a prospective mate, neurotransmitters are sent throughout your brain to emotionally make a good link to that person. Ever miss your boyfriend/girlfriend to the point of heartache? Chemical, nervous reactions are the cause of it. Dopamine is said to be the principle chemical involved in giving us strong urges like sexual attraction over time. Romantic love is not just an emotion–but rather, a whole motivational system with a reward drive to get you to stick with that person. While this is going on, we have a decrease in serotonin, which if elevated, leads to feelings of obsession or something like an addiction…

· 6

Feel the effects of your hormones–they have important power in emotions including “love.” If a man is or is not interested in having a baby with a specific woman (at a specific time), his hostility and oxytoxin and testosterone may increase or decrease. This is because the body is trying to ensure that his genes are passed on to the right kind of person, and encourages him to seek “his-type” which is even if he has to look elsewhere for that person or feeling. This also occurs when a woman does not see a man as a person suitable for a long term relationship, or is not fully interested in that relationship herself. The two previously mentioned neurotransmitters are also what cause love to fade. After all, if you’ve done your job, had sex/raised a child, there isn’t any more need for that chemical reaction.

· 7

Stay together…–That may have more to do with family love than sexual attractiveness, after a few years. If a man and woman are committed to their children, family and each other–and the futures of all concerned–then they will often (about half of people) be dedicated to stay together in “mature love” to help each other and to maintain a home and family long after “raging hormones” of youth and the pheromones have subsided.

Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Love-As-a-Chemical-Reaction

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